You smell like stripper and shame
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
