yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
