i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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