Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
