Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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