I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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