why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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