Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
