i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
