Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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