So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
