Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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