he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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