Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
