Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
