i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
