Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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