that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
