he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize