it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
