how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
