He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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