I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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