Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
