I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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