Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
