You're a womanizer and a bitch.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
