We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
