please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
