so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
