When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
