I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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