I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
