Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
