So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
