That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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