definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
