after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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