There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
