And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
