Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize