Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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