I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
