David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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