dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I want a musical about memes.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?