I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
