dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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