If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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