We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize