ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize