if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
