After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
