hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
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