Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize