I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I supernannyed him into submission
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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