I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
