Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
