Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i would rim the shit out of meg ryan

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(845): View more from New York

no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

(516): View more from New York

You wear Armani Exchange.

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(510): View more from California

I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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(845): View more from New York

How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?

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(585): View more from New York

complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.

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(352): View more from Florida

Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.

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(631): View more from New York

duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!

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