Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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