Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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