Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
