she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
