I wannas sexs uuuuu
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
