Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
