We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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