was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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